SEPTEMBER 2024 /// YOUR BLUEPRINT
Welcome to YOUR custom BLUEPRINT!
This BLUEPRINT is actually created custom for YOU [profilegrid_user_first_name].
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Dear [profilegrid_user_first_name],
As a DRIVER, you’re naturally designed to lead with clarity, focus, and precision. Your ability to cut through the noise and get things done makes you a force in any environment. When there’s a problem to solve, your first instinct is to jump in and take control, slicing through the complexity with decisive action. Whether in business, ministry, or personal life, your talent for leading and driving results is unmistakable. You know how to make things happen, and people rely on you to create solutions and push through obstacles. However, this powerful strength, while invaluable in many settings, can sometimes present unique challenges when it comes to navigating difficult conversations.
Your direct nature means you prefer to communicate in a straightforward, no-nonsense manner. You’re wired to seek results, so when a conversation feels unproductive or overly emotional, your instinct may be to move through it as quickly as possible to get to the resolution. While this approach works well in problem-solving or decision-making situations, hard conversations—particularly those involving emotions, relationships, or misunderstandings—require a different kind of finesse. These conversations often demand more than just finding a solution; they require patience, empathy, and the willingness to sit in discomfort longer than you might prefer. It’s about slowing down enough to truly hear the other person’s perspective, even when it feels inefficient to do so.
Hard conversations often touch on personal or emotional topics, making them feel messy and unclear. As a DRIVER, this can be frustrating. You thrive in environments where goals are defined, and the path to success is clear. However, conversations about feelings, relational conflicts, or misunderstandings don’t always fit neatly into a box. They can take unexpected turns, and the “solution” might not be as straightforward as you’d like. You may find yourself tempted to move past the discomfort, quickly offering a solution or wrapping up the discussion in an effort to get things back on track. However, in these moments, it’s essential to recognize that the process of the conversation is just as important as the outcome.
The Apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:1 that even if we speak with the tongues of angels but have not love, we are “only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” In your case, this translates to understanding that no matter how efficient or solution-focused your approach is, if you don’t take time to engage with the heart of the matter—the emotions and perspectives of the other person—you risk creating more harm than good. Relationships, especially in the Kingdom of God, are built not just on effective communication but on love, understanding, and mutual respect. As a DRIVER, learning to navigate this balance is crucial for your continued growth as a leader and as a follower of Christ.
This brings us to an important point: hard conversations, by their very nature, are about connection, not just resolution. They are an opportunity for you to build deeper trust with those around you—whether it’s a team member, a spouse, a friend, or a colleague. When handled with care, difficult conversations can actually strengthen relationships, making them more resilient in the long term. But this requires you to step outside of your comfort zone and approach these discussions with both strength and sensitivity. It’s about bringing your God-given clarity and focus to the table, while also creating space for empathy and understanding.
Your leadership in difficult conversations is not just about solving the problem at hand but also about stewarding the relationship well. As a DRIVER, this may stretch you, but it’s a necessary growth area that will make you even more effective in your leadership. When you approach hard conversations with a willingness to listen and a commitment to building trust, you create an environment where others feel valued, respected, and understood. This, in turn, leads to more effective outcomes, as people are more likely to engage openly and honestly when they know their concerns will be heard and taken seriously.
In this month’s Mastermind, we will be diving deep into the theme of “Hard Conversations.” As a DRIVER, you will benefit from a tailored approach to this topic, focusing on how to leverage your strengths while recognizing where growth is needed. You already have the clarity and determination to lead through tough situations, but this month’s focus will be on how to temper those strengths with a relational approach that fosters trust and connection.
The goal is not to change who you are—God designed you with purpose—but to refine your approach so that you can handle difficult conversations in a way that strengthens relationships, builds trust, and ensures long-term success. Remember, being a strong leader doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers immediately. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is slow down, listen, and create space for the other person’s voice to be heard.
God’s Word provides guidance for this balance in Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” As a DRIVER, this is a critical verse for you. It’s easy to move quickly through conversations, especially when you feel the urgency to resolve things. But often, gentleness and patience are the keys to defusing tension and creating an environment where solutions can emerge naturally. You don’t have to sacrifice your directness—being clear and focused is part of who you are—but layering that with gentleness will help you approach hard conversations with wisdom and grace.
This month, let’s explore how you can bring your leadership and decisiveness into these challenging moments while also developing the skills to navigate the emotional and relational dynamics that hard conversations often require. Let’s dive into this month’s Blueprint, designed to help you lead with both strength and sensitivity as you handle the difficult conversations in your life.
What You Should Be Thinking About This Month
This month, as you prepare for difficult conversations, focus on a few key areas that align with your DRIVER tendencies:
1.Pause Before Reacting: As a DRIVER, your first instinct may be to jump in and take control of the conversation, especially when tensions are high. However, this month, practice pausing before reacting. This brief moment of reflection will allow you to assess not just what is being said, but why it’s being said. Pausing also gives the Holy Spirit room to work in you, allowing you to respond from a place of wisdom instead of impulse. Reflect on Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Your pause creates space for a gentler, more effective response.
2.Seek to Understand Before Being Understood: You have a natural ability to communicate clearly, but effective communication also involves listening. This month, intentionally seek to understand the other person’s perspective before you present your solution. This aligns with Stephen Covey’s principle of “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” By doing so, you honor the other person and create an environment where your perspective is more likely to be received well.
3.Embrace the Discomfort: As a DRIVER, you thrive in action, and that sometimes means pushing through uncomfortable situations to get results. But in difficult conversations, discomfort is often a necessary part of growth—for both you and the other person. Instead of avoiding it or bulldozing through it, embrace it. Let the discomfort refine your approach, guiding you toward deeper connection and better outcomes. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Embracing discomfort allows you to operate from a place of humility and grace.
Questions to Consider and Thoughts to Ponder
Questions To Consider
- How can I use my decisiveness to foster clarity without overwhelming others?
- As a DRIVER, your ability to make decisions quickly is a strength, but sometimes, those around you may need more time to process. How can you balance your clarity with patience in hard conversations?
- Am I creating enough space for the other person to feel heard and respected
- Reflect on your recent conversations. Were there moments when you could have listened more deeply or responded with more empathy?
Thoughts to Ponder:
- “True leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice; it’s about being the clearest listener.”
- “The most powerful conversations don’t just resolve conflicts—they build bridges.”
Action Steps
To make the most of this month’s theme and align with your DRIVER type, here are three actionable steps you can take:
- Practice Active Listening: In your next difficult conversation, intentionally practice active listening. Before offering your solution, paraphrase what the other person is saying to ensure they feel understood. This will not only build rapport but also make your solution more effective because it’s built on mutual understanding.
- Invite Feedback on Your Approach: Ask someone you trust to give you feedback on how you handle tough conversations. Specifically, ask them to comment on whether you listen well and if they feel respected during the conversation. This may be uncomfortable, but it will help you refine your approach.
- Slow Down Your Response Time: Before responding in a hard conversation, take a deep breath and count to five. This simple action will give you time to process your thoughts, allow the other person to finish speaking, and prevent you from reacting impulsively.
Remember, as a DRIVER, you are equipped to lead with boldness and clarity. This month is an opportunity for you to refine how you navigate difficult conversations, not by changing who you are, but by enhancing your strengths and applying them with wisdom. Hard conversations are not just challenges to overcome; they are opportunities for growth—both for you and those around you. By leaning into your God-given design and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you, you can handle these moments with grace, influence, and lasting impact.
With each conversation, you have the opportunity to build stronger relationships, foster deeper trust, and lead in a way that honors both God and the people around you. Don’t shy away from the discomfort of difficult conversations; instead, see them as a crucible for growth and transformation.
You’ve got this.
In His service,
Chris Behnke and the GOD Designed Team
[/survey_conditions]
[survey_conditions id=”1944718247″ condition=”categoryscore_INFLUENCER” relation=”highest” filter=”DRIVER, INFLUENCER, SOLUTIONARY, STABILIZER”]
Dear [profilegrid_user_first_name],
As an INFLUENCER, your ability to connect with others, inspire, and communicate effectively is one of your greatest strengths. You’re wired for relationships, thriving on the energy that comes from interactions with others. Whether it’s engaging in a team setting, motivating a group, or simply having one-on-one conversations, you have a unique gift for making people feel seen, valued, and understood. You effortlessly navigate conversations, using your charm, wit, and relational skills to build bridges, foster harmony, and create environments where people feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings. This makes you a natural leader in relational settings and someone people gravitate toward for encouragement and support.
However, when it comes to hard conversations, the very strengths that make you so effective in relational dynamics can sometimes become stumbling blocks. Difficult conversations often require more than connection and harmony; they demand a willingness to address discomfort head-on, a commitment to speaking hard truths, and the ability to balance relational harmony with honesty. While you excel in creating positive environments, hard conversations often involve tension, emotions, and the potential for conflict—all of which can feel uncomfortable for someone who values connection above all else.
One of the key challenges you may face as an INFLUENCER is the temptation to prioritize harmony over truth. Because you are naturally wired to maintain peace and avoid conflict, you might shy away from addressing issues directly, fearing that doing so could disrupt the relational balance you’ve worked so hard to create. You may find yourself sugarcoating the truth or skirting around the real issue in an attempt to keep everyone happy. While this approach can maintain surface-level peace, it often leads to unresolved issues that continue to simmer beneath the surface. In the long run, avoiding hard conversations can actually erode the very harmony you’re trying to protect, leading to deeper misunderstandings, frustration, and even broken relationships.
This is where the challenge lies for you as an INFLUENCER. Hard conversations are not about maintaining superficial peace; they are about fostering genuine understanding and growth. True connection isn’t built on avoiding difficult truths but on the ability to navigate through them with grace and honesty. As Proverbs 27:6 reminds us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Sometimes, loving someone well means speaking hard truths, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s in these moments of vulnerability and honesty that deeper connections are formed, trust is built, and relationships are strengthened.
Another potential pitfall for INFLUENCERS in hard conversations is the tendency to overemphasize empathy at the expense of clarity. Your empathetic nature allows you to deeply understand the emotions of others, and you likely feel their discomfort as if it were your own. This is a beautiful strength, but it can also lead you to avoid saying what needs to be said because you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. However, true empathy doesn’t mean avoiding the truth—it means delivering it with love, kindness, and understanding.
Ephesians 4:15 calls us to “speak the truth in love,” and this is where your empathy and communication skills as an INFLUENCER can truly shine. You have the ability to frame hard truths in a way that is both compassionate and clear. While the truth may still sting, your natural gift for building rapport and fostering connection can soften the blow, allowing the other person to receive the message without feeling attacked. It’s not about avoiding the hard conversation, but rather about approaching it in a way that honors both the truth and the relationship.
As an INFLUENCER, you also excel at reading the room and sensing the emotional undercurrents of a conversation. This ability to pick up on unspoken cues can be incredibly useful in hard conversations, allowing you to navigate tricky emotional dynamics with finesse. However, it’s important to remember that just because you sense discomfort doesn’t mean you need to alleviate it immediately. Hard conversations are, by nature, uncomfortable. Rather than trying to diffuse the tension too quickly, lean into it. Allow the discomfort to do its work, creating space for real growth, healing, and understanding.
This month’s Mastermind focuses on “Hard Conversations,” and as an INFLUENCER, you’ll be challenged to approach these discussions from a place of deep relational integrity. This means not shying away from the harder truths that need to be addressed but rather engaging with them in a way that builds trust and fosters genuine connection. It’s about learning to navigate the tension between harmony and honesty, understanding that true peace comes from resolving conflict, not avoiding it.
You have a God-given ability to influence others through your words, your presence, and your relationships. This is a powerful tool in managing hard conversations, as you are naturally equipped to build rapport, create understanding, and foster openness. However, growth for you in this area means learning to embrace the discomfort that comes with difficult discussions, knowing that it is often through these moments of tension that relationships are strengthened and deeper trust is built.
Remember, the goal is not to abandon your relational strengths but to refine them. God designed you as an INFLUENCER for a reason—your ability to connect with others is a gift. But part of stewarding that gift well is learning to balance empathy with truth, connection with honesty, and harmony with authenticity. Hard conversations are an opportunity for you to step into this space, bringing both your relational strengths and your growing ability to speak truth in love.
As we dive into this month’s blueprint, let’s explore how your God-given design as an INFLUENCER can be a powerful asset in navigating hard conversations. Let’s also acknowledge where growth is needed, as you continue to develop the skills and mindset required to handle these moments with grace, truth, and relational integrity. You don’t have to choose between harmony and honesty—God has equipped you to walk in both, using your influence to build deeper, more authentic relationships in the process.
What You Should Be Thinking About This Month
This month, as you engage with the theme of hard conversations, there are a few key areas to focus on as an INFLUENCER. These are designed to help you leverage your strengths while also addressing potential blind spots in your approach to difficult discussions.
- Balance Empathy with Honesty: You are naturally empathetic, which is a tremendous asset in hard conversations. However, this month, challenge yourself to balance that empathy with honesty. Instead of focusing solely on how the other person feels, ask yourself, “What truth needs to be spoken here, and how can I deliver it in a way that honors the relationship but doesn’t avoid the issue?”
- Resist the Urge to Fix Everything: As an INFLUENCER, you may feel responsible for ensuring that everyone walks away from the conversation happy. But some conversations won’t end with both parties feeling perfectly at peace—and that’s okay. This month, focus on being okay with leaving some discomfort in the conversation, trusting that it’s part of the process.
- Stay Present in the Discomfort: One of the hardest things for an INFLUENCER is to stay present when the conversation gets uncomfortable. Your instinct might be to shift the topic, soften the language, or wrap things up quickly to avoid lingering in tension. However, this month, practice staying present in that discomfort. Listen fully, allow the other person to express their thoughts, and don’t rush to smooth things over prematurely.
Remember, difficult conversations are not about winning or losing. They are about building deeper trust, creating mutual understanding, and fostering growth in both yourself and the other person. You are designed by God to connect with people, and part of that connection is learning to navigate the rough waters of conflict with grace and courage.
Questions to Consider and Thoughts to Ponder
Questions to Consider:
- Am I avoiding any hard conversations because I’m afraid of how it will affect the relationship?
- Reflect on whether there are issues you’ve been putting off addressing because of your fear of causing discomfort or losing favor with someone.
- How can I ensure that my empathy doesn’t prevent me from speaking the truth
- Think about recent conversations where you may have prioritized someone’s feelings over addressing the real issue. How can you strike a better balance next time?
Thoughts to Ponder:
- “True peace comes not from avoiding conflict, but from resolving it in truth and love.”
- “Difficult conversations don’t have to break relationships; they can be the foundation of stronger, deeper connections.”
Action Steps
To help you apply this month’s theme to your life as an INFLUENCER, here are three action steps you can take throughout the month:
- Have One Hard Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding: Identify one conversation that you’ve been avoiding and commit to having it this month. Prepare by reflecting on how you can balance empathy and honesty, and trust that the Holy Spirit will guide you through it.
- Practice Speaking Truth in Love in Everyday Interactions: Start practicing the balance of truth and love in smaller, everyday conversations. This could be giving someone constructive feedback, setting a boundary, or expressing a need you’ve been reluctant to share.
- Ask for Feedback After a Difficult Conversation: After you’ve had a difficult conversation, ask the other person how they felt about the conversation. Did they feel heard and respected? Did they feel that you were honest? Use this feedback to refine your approach.
As an INFLUENCER, you are gifted with the ability to create meaningful connections and inspire others. This month’s focus on hard conversations is an opportunity for you to deepen those connections by embracing both the truth and the relational grace that God has given you. Difficult conversations are not something to be feared, but rather an opportunity to grow, both for you and for those you lead.
Remember, God has equipped you with everything you need to navigate these moments with wisdom and grace. Lean into His guidance, and trust that even in the hardest conversations, He is working in you and through you to bring about growth and transformation. As Colossians 4:6 encourages, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
You are called to influence, but true influence comes from a place of authenticity, courage, and love. Don’t shy away from the hard conversations—they are the very moments that will refine you and elevate your leadership to new heights.
In His service,
Chris Behnke and the GOD Designed Team
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[survey_conditions id=”1944718247″ condition=”categoryscore_SOLUTIONARY” relation=”highest” filter=”DRIVER, INFLUENCER, SOLUTIONARY, STABILIZER”]
Dear [profilegrid_user_first_name],
As a SOLUTIONARY, your ability to see patterns, solve problems, and create systems that work is truly a God-given strength. You excel in environments that are complex and multifaceted, where others might feel overwhelmed by the number of variables or moving parts. Your mind is naturally wired to break down challenges into manageable pieces, analyze each aspect, and then develop a strategy that brings clarity and resolution. Whether it’s optimizing a process at work, resolving a family issue, or figuring out the best approach to a ministry project, you thrive when given the opportunity to apply your problem-solving skills. People look to you for solutions, knowing that you can cut through the noise and present a path forward.
However, when it comes to hard conversations, these situations often present a unique set of challenges. While your focus on outcomes is invaluable, especially when dealing with practical or logistical matters, hard conversations are rarely just about finding the right answer. More often than not, they are about navigating emotions, addressing underlying tensions, and fostering connection and understanding. In these moments, intellectual problem-solving alone isn’t enough. These conversations require emotional intelligence, relational sensitivity, and the ability to engage with the complexities of human dynamics, which can’t always be resolved with a quick fix.
As a SOLUTIONARY, you may find yourself eager to skip the emotional or relational aspects of hard conversations and jump straight to the solution. This is a natural inclination for someone with your strengths. You see the problem, you analyze it, and you want to resolve it as efficiently as possible. But hard conversations, especially those involving personal or emotional conflicts, don’t always work that way. These conversations are as much about connection and understanding as they are about resolving the issue at hand. The “solution” often isn’t just a logical answer but a relational process that requires time, empathy, and careful attention to how others feel.
This is where your growth as a SOLUTIONARY lies—in learning to balance your incredible problem-solving abilities with the patience and relational awareness that hard conversations demand. You are not being asked to abandon your strengths. On the contrary, your ability to bring clarity to a difficult situation is a powerful asset. However, the key is learning to integrate those strengths with a deeper sensitivity to the relational dynamics at play. It’s about recognizing that, in these conversations, the process of listening, empathizing, and connecting is just as important as the solution you eventually present.
One of the greatest temptations for a SOLUTIONARY in hard conversations is to focus solely on efficiency. Your natural inclination is to want to “fix” the problem and move on. This might look like quickly offering a solution without fully exploring the emotions or perspectives of the other person. While this approach might work in more technical or straightforward situations, hard conversations often require you to slow down and really listen. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” As a SOLUTIONARY, it’s important to resist the urge to jump to conclusions or offer solutions too quickly. Instead, take the time to understand the full scope of the issue, including the emotional and relational components.
Hard conversations are often more about the journey than the destination. Yes, you will eventually get to a solution, but the real work is in the process of listening, validating the other person’s experience, and creating space for emotions to be expressed. For you, this might feel inefficient or even uncomfortable. But it’s important to remember that, in these conversations, the goal isn’t just to solve the problem—it’s to build trust, foster connection, and create a sense of mutual understanding. The solution you offer will only be effective if the other person feels heard and respected throughout the process.
In this month’s Mastermind, we will explore how you can effectively bring your strength as a SOLUTIONARY into difficult conversations while also refining your approach to make space for the relational aspects that are just as critical. We’ll focus on developing a mindset that allows you to leverage your problem-solving abilities while also cultivating patience, empathy, and emotional awareness.
As a SOLUTIONARY, you are uniquely positioned to help guide hard conversations to a productive outcome. Your ability to see through the noise and identify the core issue is invaluable. But in these moments, it’s crucial to remember that people aren’t problems to be solved—they are individuals with their own emotions, perspectives, and needs. The way you engage with those aspects of the conversation will determine the success of the solution you ultimately provide.
Consider this: even Jesus, the ultimate problem-solver, didn’t rush to fix every situation He encountered. He often spent time asking questions, listening deeply, and engaging with people on an emotional level before offering His wisdom. In John 4, when Jesus encountered the Samaritan woman at the well, He didn’t immediately offer a solution to her problems. Instead, He asked her questions, listened to her story, and made space for her to share her truth before revealing who He was and what He could offer. As a SOLUTIONARY, this is a model for you to follow in hard conversations—create space for dialogue, even when you already see the solution.
This month, you’ll be given tools to help you slow down in hard conversations, ensuring that you don’t skip over the relational and emotional aspects in your rush to solve the issue. You’ll be challenged to engage with others in a way that builds trust and fosters genuine connection. This means learning to sit with discomfort, listening more than speaking, and being open to the idea that sometimes the best solutions come not from efficiency, but from empathy and patience.
Let’s also talk about emotional intelligence. For a SOLUTIONARY, developing emotional intelligence might feel like an abstract concept—after all, you’re used to dealing with facts, patterns, and concrete solutions. But emotional intelligence is simply the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. In hard conversations, this means being attuned to what the other person is feeling, even if they aren’t explicitly stating it. It means picking up on subtle cues, like tone of voice or body language, and responding in a way that acknowledges those emotions.
For example, if someone you’re speaking with is frustrated, even if they don’t say so directly, emotional intelligence allows you to recognize that frustration and respond with empathy: “I can see that this situation has been really frustrating for you. Let’s talk more about what’s been difficult.” This doesn’t detract from your ability to solve the problem—in fact, it enhances it. When people feel understood on an emotional level, they are more likely to engage with the solution you offer.
As we dive into this month’s theme of “Hard Conversations,” let’s take a closer look at how you, as a SOLUTIONARY, can approach these conversations with both wisdom and grace. You already have the tools to solve problems and create systems that work. Now, let’s build on that foundation by refining your approach to include greater emotional awareness and relational sensitivity. By doing so, you’ll not only become a more effective problem-solver, but also a leader who fosters trust, builds stronger relationships, and navigates difficult conversations with the heart of Christ.
This month, let’s explore how you can bring both your natural problem-solving abilities and a deeper relational awareness into the conversations you face. Together, we’ll work to ensure that you approach these moments not just with the goal of resolving the issue, but with the goal of fostering deeper connection, understanding, and growth for everyone involved.
What You Should Be Thinking About This Month
As you focus on the theme of hard conversations this month, there are several key areas to keep in mind that align with your SOLUTIONARY tendencies. These considerations will help you engage in difficult conversations with both your problem-solving skills and a greater relational sensitivity.
- Embrace the Process, Not Just the Solution: As a SOLUTIONARY, it’s natural for you to focus on the end result. However, this month, challenge yourself to embrace the process of the conversation, not just the solution. Instead of rushing to fix the problem, spend more time listening, asking questions, and understanding the other person’s perspective. Remember that the process itself is part of the solution.
- Hold Space for Emotions: In difficult conversations, emotions often play a significant role. While you may be focused on resolving the issue, the other person might be more focused on expressing their feelings or being understood. This month, practice holding space for emotions without immediately jumping to fix them. Acknowledge the feelings being expressed, and show empathy, even if it doesn’t seem directly related to the solution.
- Be Willing to Adjust Your Approach: As a SOLUTIONARY, you likely come into conversations with a clear idea of what the solution should be. However, this month, practice being open to adjusting your approach based on what you learn through the conversation. This doesn’t mean abandoning your problem-solving instincts, but it does mean being flexible and willing to adapt based on the other person’s needs and input.
Questions to Consider and Thoughts to Ponder
Questions to Consider:
- Am I listening deeply enough to fully understand the other person’s perspective before offering my solution?
- Reflect on recent conversations. Were there moments when you moved too quickly to problem-solving without fully listening to the other person’s thoughts and emotions?
- How can I balance my focus on the solution with the need to honor the relational and emotional dynamics of the conversation?
- Think about how you can create more space in conversations for emotions and relational connection, even as you work towards a resolution.
Thoughts to Ponder:
- “True wisdom is not just in solving the problem, but in honoring the process of connection and understanding.”
- “The best solutions come not just from clarity, but from a foundation of trust, empathy, and mutual respect.”
Action Steps
To help you apply this month’s theme of hard conversations as a SOLUTIONARY, here are three action steps you can take throughout the month:
- Practice Active Listening in Your Next Difficult Conversation: In your next hard conversation, focus on listening more than speaking. Before offering any solution, take the time to fully understand the other person’s perspective. Ask clarifying questions, reflect back what you’ve heard, and ensure the other person feels understood.
- Invite Feedback on Your Problem-Solving Approach: After a difficult conversation, ask the other person for feedback on how you handled the conversation. Specifically, ask whether they felt heard and respected throughout the process, and whether they felt your solution addressed both the problem and their concerns.
- Slow Down Your Problem-Solving Instincts: In conversations this month, make a conscious effort to slow down before offering a solution. Allow the conversation to unfold naturally, and resist the urge to jump in with a fix before the other person has fully expressed themselves. This will not only improve the quality of your solution but also strengthen the relationship.
As a SOLUTIONARY, you have an incredible gift for bringing clarity and solutions to difficult situations. This month’s focus on hard conversations will stretch you to not only offer practical solutions but also to engage more deeply with the emotional and relational dynamics of these conversations. By balancing your problem-solving abilities with a greater awareness of the other person’s needs and feelings, you’ll be able to navigate hard conversations in a way that not only resolves the issue but also strengthens the relationship.
Remember, difficult conversations are not just about finding the right answer—they are about fostering growth, connection, and mutual understanding. As you lean into your strengths this month, allow God to guide you in using your gifts with wisdom, grace, and relational sensitivity. Proverbs 4:7 reminds us, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Your understanding, both of the situation and the person you’re speaking with, will be the key to navigating these conversations successfully.
You’ve been uniquely designed to solve problems and bring order out of chaos. This month, embrace that calling while also making space for the relational and emotional aspects of hard conversations. Trust that God will guide you through these moments, equipping you to handle them with both clarity and compassion.
In His service,
Chris Behnke and the GOD Designed Team
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[survey_conditions id=”1944718247″ condition=”categoryscore_STABILIZER” relation=”highest” filter=”DRIVER, INFLUENCER, SOLUTIONARY, STABILIZER”]
Dear [profilegrid_user_first_name],
As a STABILIZER, you are the steady presence that brings calm, balance, and peace to those around you. Your natural gift is creating an environment where people feel safe, supported, and valued. You excel at maintaining harmony, and your ability to diffuse tension or conflict often makes you the “go-to” person in relationships or teams when things become difficult. People trust you to keep the peace and to ensure that situations don’t spiral out of control. You have a unique ability to read the room, sense the emotional climate, and act in ways that foster unity and balance.
However, while your stabilizing presence is a beautiful strength, it can also present challenges, especially when it comes to hard conversations. Because you are naturally wired to avoid conflict and seek harmony, hard conversations can feel overwhelming or even threatening. The tension that arises in these moments may cause you to withdraw or hesitate to engage fully. You may fear that addressing the issue will disrupt the peace you work so hard to maintain, or you may worry that speaking up could lead to a confrontation that might harm your relationships. These fears are understandable, but they can also keep you from stepping into the very moments that offer the most significant opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
God has designed you with a natural inclination toward peacekeeping, but He also calls you to be a person of truth. The desire to keep the peace may lead you to avoid these conversations altogether, but avoidance can lead to unresolved tensions, simmering resentment, or misunderstandings that grow over time. Proverbs 12:22 tells us, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” Avoiding hard conversations to keep the peace may seem like the easier route, but ultimately, it prevents true peace—the kind that comes from honesty, resolution, and mutual understanding.
Hard conversations are not obstacles to be avoided; they are opportunities to deepen relationships, strengthen trust, and bring clarity where there has been confusion. In these moments, God calls us to step into the discomfort with grace, love, and truth. This doesn’t mean abandoning your natural desire for harmony—it means learning how to balance that desire with the courage to engage in difficult discussions when necessary. The peace you are so gifted at maintaining can still be present in hard conversations, but it will be a deeper, more authentic peace, grounded in truth and understanding.
As a STABILIZER, your tendency may be to smooth things over as quickly as possible when tensions arise. You likely prefer to keep conversations light and positive, avoiding the discomfort that comes with addressing difficult issues head-on. However, this approach, while well-intentioned, can lead to unresolved issues that continue to fester beneath the surface. True peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of resolution. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” There is a time to maintain peace, but there is also a time to engage in the necessary, albeit uncomfortable, conversations that lead to growth and healing.
This month’s Mastermind theme is “Hard Conversations,” and for you as a STABILIZER, this topic might feel particularly challenging. However, it’s important to recognize that difficult conversations are not just threats to your sense of harmony; they are also invitations to bring your steady, calming presence into moments of tension. You are uniquely equipped to guide conversations with patience and wisdom, ensuring that the necessary truths are shared while also creating an environment where people feel heard, respected, and safe.
One of the key opportunities for growth as a STABILIZER is learning to navigate the tension between maintaining peace and addressing conflict. It’s about recognizing that hard conversations don’t necessarily have to disrupt the harmony you seek—they can actually enhance it. When you approach these conversations with a mindset of openness, honesty, and love, you have the ability to transform tension into deeper understanding. In fact, your calm presence can be a tremendous asset in helping others feel at ease during these conversations, even when the subject matter is difficult.
Think about Jesus’ interactions with others during His ministry. He was a master of navigating hard conversations with both truth and love. In John 4, for example, Jesus engages in a difficult conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well. He addresses her past and her current situation with honesty, but He does so with such grace and compassion that the conversation leads not to conflict, but to transformation. As a STABILIZER, you are called to model this same balance of truth and grace in your own interactions. The goal isn’t to avoid the difficult truths, but to present them in a way that fosters healing and growth.
It’s also important to remember that hard conversations don’t always lead to immediate resolution, and that’s okay. As a STABILIZER, you may feel the urge to fix things quickly, to smooth things over, and to restore harmony as soon as possible. But true resolution often takes time. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply create space for the other person to share their thoughts and feelings, without rushing to offer a solution or wrap up the conversation. By doing so, you allow for the deeper work of healing and understanding to take place.
One of the Bible’s most powerful teachings on this subject comes from Ephesians 4:15, where we are instructed to “speak the truth in love.” This verse beautifully captures the essence of what it means to engage in hard conversations as a STABILIZER. Speaking the truth is essential, but it must always be done in a spirit of love, with the goal of building up, not tearing down. You are called to be a peacemaker, not by avoiding conflict, but by addressing it in a way that fosters growth, healing, and deeper connection.
This month, as we explore the theme of hard conversations, I want to encourage you to step into these moments with confidence and grace. You don’t have to abandon your natural desire for peace—instead, you can use it as a foundation for engaging in hard conversations with wisdom and patience. Your ability to remain calm under pressure and to bring balance to tense situations is a powerful asset, but it’s important to combine that with the courage to speak the necessary truths that lead to real resolution.
Let’s dive into this month’s blueprint, tailored specifically for you as a STABILIZER, to help you navigate hard conversations with confidence and grace. You have everything you need to approach these moments not as threats to your sense of harmony, but as opportunities to bring peace, healing, and deeper connection to the relationships in your life.
What You Should Be Thinking About This Month
This month, as you engage with the theme of hard conversations, there are a few key areas to focus on as a STABILIZER. These considerations will help you leverage your strengths while also addressing areas where you may need to grow.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Express Your Needs: As a STABILIZER, you are often more focused on the needs of others than on your own. This month, challenge yourself to express your own needs in difficult conversations. Remember that your perspective is just as valuable as anyone else’s, and speaking your truth is not selfish—it’s necessary for genuine peace.
- Trust the Process of Discomfort: Hard conversations often come with discomfort, which can be unsettling for you as a STABILIZER. However, this discomfort is part of the process of growth. Instead of trying to eliminate the tension too quickly, trust that God is using it to bring about deeper understanding and healing.
- Be Willing to Stay in the Conversation: Your natural tendency might be to wrap up difficult conversations as quickly as possible to restore peace. However, this month, focus on staying in the conversation longer, allowing the other person (and yourself) the space to fully process emotions and thoughts. Real peace is often found in the depth of the conversation, not in its brevity.
Remember, difficult conversations are not a sign that something is wrong—they are a sign that you are engaging deeply with the people around you. By leaning into your God-given strengths as a STABILIZER, you can navigate these conversations with grace, ensuring that peace is maintained even as hard truths are shared.
Questions to Consider and Thoughts to Ponder
Questions to Consider:
- Am I allowing myself to express my own thoughts and needs in difficult conversations, or am I prioritizing others’ comfort over my own?
- Reflect on whether you’ve been holding back in conversations to avoid conflict. How can you begin to express your own needs with grace and confidence?
- How can I use my natural gift of creating calm to help others feel heard while also ensuring that the conversation reaches a meaningful resolution?
- Think about how your steady presence can guide others through the discomfort of hard conversations, making room for both peace and truth.
Thoughts to Ponder:
- “True peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of truth spoken in love.”
- “Discomfort is often the birthplace of growth—trust that God is with you in the tension.”
Action Steps
To help you apply this month’s theme of hard conversations to your life as a STABILIZER, here are three action steps you can take throughout the month:
- Practice Speaking Up in a Low-Stakes Situation: Start by expressing your thoughts or needs in a conversation that feels less intense or high-stakes. This will help you build confidence in sharing your voice in more difficult conversations later on.
- Set Boundaries in a Hard Conversation: Identify a conversation where you need to set boundaries or express your own needs. Plan ahead by reflecting on how you can communicate these boundaries clearly while still maintaining a peaceful tone.
- Invite Feedback on Your Approach to Conflict: After engaging in a difficult conversation, ask the other person for feedback on how you handled it. Did they feel heard and respected? Did you express your thoughts clearly? Use this feedback to refine your approach to future conversations.
As a STABILIZER, you bring a unique and valuable perspective to hard conversations. Your ability to create an environment of calm and understanding is a gift from God, and this month’s theme is an opportunity for you to deepen that gift. By embracing the discomfort of hard conversations and allowing yourself to speak the truth in love, you will not only maintain peace but also help bring about real, lasting resolution.
Remember, you don’t have to rush through these moments or avoid them altogether. God has designed you to navigate them with grace and patience. Trust in His guidance, lean into your strengths, and allow yourself to grow in both confidence and wisdom as you engage in these necessary conversations.
Jesus reminds us in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” As you step into hard conversations this month, know that His peace is with you, guiding you through each moment, even when it feels difficult. You are not alone—He is with you every step of the way.
You’ve been uniquely designed to bring stability to the people around you. This month, embrace that calling as you engage in hard conversations, trusting that God will use these moments to bring about deeper connection, understanding, and peace.
In His service,
Chris Behnke and the GOD Designed Team
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